On Christmas day, people at the mall genuinely looked happy wearing their best jeans and brand new sweaters with fixed smiles on their faces and carrying bags of gifts they tried to balance with their bodies. We saw scores of people beating the clock for a last-minute Christmas shopping, kids running back and forth, clothes getting flipped, rearranged and disorganized in record-breaking speed. It was chaotic at best but smiles didn’t wear off from the people’s faces. I’ve never seen so many happy faces since I got here. For a moment, I wished it were Christmas everyday.
To some, Christmas revolves around giving gifts, unveiling that gaudy and shiny box and crossing out items in their wish lists. Like this — the whole gift-giving checklist-crossing thing — is the nexus of the holidays. I was equally guilty: I used to pre-count my gifts based on the number of uncles and aunts, and godparents who seemed to forget but might have remembered me on Christmas. I opened each gift with excitement and marveled at items that I got. I understand that for kids, it’s the gifts that count. Now that I am older, married and have my own child, I see Chrismas from the point of view of a giver, a wife and a mom. I realized that gifts are just small drops in the bucket.
It’s all about sharing
I’m not surprised typing this: I don’t have the highest regard for gifts anymore. Of course I appreciate them — I eat, use, wear and parade them even — but it came to a point where I am more delighted to be the giver and I didn’t mean that by spending money to give but by sharing something more valuable: our time. It could be as simple as patting a friend’s back, lending an ear to the troubled, telling your friends how much they mean to you or giving the best hugs to your spouse or child. If we only have time to pause, we will know that these simple gestures mean more than anything than what we could buy off the rack.
Your presence is “the” present
Being away from home this Christmas did not stop me from feeling blessed and grateful. There are thousands of ways to bridge the distance if I want to. The Internet makes it easier for my loved ones to holler me anytime even when I’m out hiking a hill or crossing a lake on a boat. They make their presence known any time and I am glad for that. I also have a beautiful family that’s grander that many things. My son just discovered the joy of kissing our cheeks and he does it every minute or so, as if it were some sort of a funny game that never ends, and he thinks it’s the funniest when I giggle from his smooches but how should I react to the cutest and the most genuine of all kisses? Being surrounded by my family is more than enough.
Don’t fret, it’s just a gift
Don’t fret if you didn’t get any gifts or didn’t spend on any. How you celebrate Christmas depends on you and how you look at things. Focus on the joy and fun of the season: it could be the most unexpected greeting from a friend, the funniest thing you’ve heard today or the funny realization that you’re sulking in the dark corner for no reason. Look at yourself as the source of joy and inspiration for others. Instead of waiting for what others can give you, stand up and share a moment of laughter with loved ones.
And the whole point is…
It all boils down to choice. We have the choice to focus on tangible gifts or on what we have and be grateful about it. A friend told me a few days ago to count my blessings and that’s what I did exactly. I realized that I have so much to live for and this Christmas gives me the opportunity to thank them — they might not know it (especially the giggly little one) but they are why i am happy.
I think I know why those people at the mall wore the brightest of all smiles. It’s not the best pants and the newest sweaters they wore nor the crossed-out items in their Christmas wish lists. They were happy because they CHOSE to be happy. Genuine happiness showed on their faces. It just happened that they wore the best clothes.
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About Althea Tan
Althea & Amarind, hope you had a very merry Christmas. This is your first Christmas away from home or native land. Am glad to know that family is more precious than any Christmas gifts in the whole world! Wishing you a Happy New Year!!